During a few therapy sessions, my therapist suggested I do some inner child work. Guided by my therapist, I would close my eyes and imagine myself in a safe space, wherever that might be for me. I imagined sitting on my bed in my bedroom. During this particular session, my therapist told me to go into it with the intention to play, and nothing else. So before I welcomed my inner child into the space, I filled the room with toys and activities. Once I had welcomed my inner child into the space, I felt very distracted and disconnected from her. My inner child was exploring and playing with all of the toys, but I kept having unrelated and intrusive thoughts. It became more difficult for me to see my inner child.

My therapist suggested I separate those thoughts from myself and imagine them as a separate being within the room, which I did. But it manifested as a dark cloud. The dark cloud grew, blocking my vision and slowly taking up the entire room. My inner child was in her own little bubble, which I was on the outside of. There were no dark clouds within her bubble, and she was completely unphased by what was going on outside of her bubble. She was in her own world, happily playing in the corner of the room, and I felt more and more disconnected from her, unable to interact with her. After finishing the inner child work, and coming out of the imagined safe space, my therapist said that it seems that I am having trouble even just allowing myself to play, and that there is a part of myself that is blocking me from doing so.

"Inner Child"

The very vivid image of being surrounded by dark clouds whilst my inner child was in her own little bubble, happily playing by herself stuck with me, which I have portrayed in this watercolour painting.

Female, 20 something, West Midlands, UK
September 2022